The idea for Colton James White’s latest work began on a scrap of notebook paper, a poem written in a flash that contained the lines:
It stretches and moves with me when I push against it,
Will I ever escape,
Will I get to touch you again?
Over 10 months, the idea evolved into “Hold Me Close, Squeeze Me Tight,” a one-night-only performance that took place June 20 at Odyssey Studios on the evening of the summer solstice.
Shifting colored lights highlighted a wooden portal wrapped in plastic wrap as a pulsating score filled the room. White entered in a black unitard and began a series of movements aimed at breaking through the translucent barrier.
Cameras were stationed on the corners of the stage, and the audience — a full house — found themselves bearing witness not only to a solo performance, but also a production. A commentary on the relationship between intimacy and pain slowly emerged as White’s gestures varied from aggressive to gentle in their quest to break through the clear layer.
Reflecting on the origins of the performance, conceived in the summer of 2020, White says: “I felt trapped. I’m a very intimate person. All my work prior to COVID-19 involved touch, and I couldn’t touch anybody. I felt like I was not myself anymore. This piece was definitely about longing for somebody. … I wanted to break through my depression, my anger and sadness.”
“Hold Me Close, Squeeze Me Tight” was sponsored by the Arch and Anne Giles Kimbrough Fund, a grant distributed by the Dallas Museum of Art that “recognizes exceptional talent and potential in young visual artists.”
The fund enabled White to collaborate with others. Leah Flook constructed the portal, composed of black wood, silver chains and plastic wrap, which had to be able to withhold the full force of White’s body. Filmmaker Michael Gerrard provided video documentation and worked with White to design the lighting. Layers of synthesizers pour over each other in a hypnotizing original score composed by Teddy Georgia Waggy.
In this wake-up period of the pandemic, when performance art can be exhibited again safely, the evening was a refreshing reminder of artists coming together to create on their own terms. The performance found a fitting home at Odyssey Studios. The emerging creative space, which was founded by Abby Bagby in 2020, offers exhibition opportunities to experimental installation and performance-based artists, with more single-night events planned this year.
After 20 minutes of expressive attempts, White finally broke through the barrier and collapsed on the floor. Finally on the other side, White stood up and exited the venue as the audience followed. Gathered outside, on the longest day of the year, audience members pondered what they’d just seen, knowing it would never happen again.
On the day after the performance, White distilled their hopes for the work: “I want to be a vessel for people who don’t know how to process a certain feeling, so I hope someone last night was like, ‘This is what I was feeling,’ and they can have that breakthrough as well. Because someone else did the action for them.”
