Families, law enforcement, veterans and officials sat by the shore at Lake Ray Hubbard in Rockwall on Saturday morning, gathering to memorialize the service of first responders who died by suicide and support survivors.
They hoped to dispel the stigma that comes with mental health, especially among those who work to keep communities safe. At one point, the crowd repeated together: “I will listen.”
Sitting at Heroes Memorial Park — which was born of a grassroots initiative to raise awareness — organizers and families shared their experiences and explained why this year, there is a monument. The monument stands 10 feet high and includes images of first responders. A wall of honor, with the names of those memorialized, sits behind it.
First HELP, formerly Blue HELP, a national organization that supports first responders and their families, spearheaded the memorial. The dedication also included state Sen. Bob Hall, the city of Rockwall and other organizations that support veterans.
“Many people viewed dedicating a memorial in honor of the service of first responders and veterans glamorized suicide,” said ShaRonda Young Calderon, who advocates for mental health in North Texas. “People felt that way when, in fact, we’re not glamorizing suicide at all. We’re humanizing the hearts beneath the badge. There is love there. There’s family there.”
The monument has faced criticism from organizations and other first responders. Critics may have concerns about suicide contagion — with the idea that a monument encourages the behavior — or believe only other types of deaths in the line of duty should be honored, said Karen Solomon, First HELP co-founder and president. She said it is intended to encourage talks raising awareness around suicide and that it honors the service of first responders.
“We will never ever forget you or your service,” Solomon told first responders in the crowd. “We will never shame your family and your family will always feel loved, but please don’t make us do that. Your goal should [be] not to be here. Your goal should be to have a long and happy life. It should be a life full of love, friendship and honesty.”
Solomon added that honesty meant, above all else, being honest with loved ones who will listen and talk about how they’re doing.
The dedication was part of First HELP’s 5th annual Family Weekend in Irving. Among those there in support were Rockwall Mayor Trace Johannesen and Hall, both veterans. Hall read a resolution from the Texas Legislature dedicating the monument.
In the U.S. military, 492 service members died by suicide in 2022, according to the Defense Suicide Prevention Office. Among veterans, it was a leading cause of death in 2021 for those under age 45. Overall, more than 6,300 veterans died that year, according to the Department of Veterans Affairs.
First HELP began collecting national data on suicide in 2019 for all first responders, firefighters, emergency medical personnel and 911 telecommunicators. Between 2016 and 2022, it counted more than 1,200 deaths of law enforcement and correctional officers. This year, more than 80 public safety professionals have died by suicide, according to data gathered by the organization.
While speaking to the crowd, Solomon pointed out a woman, Anne Follmer, who initially didn’t want the way her son died to be recognized but wanted him to be counted by First HELP. Over time, she decided she was ready to come forward after seeing how other families shared their stories.
“I see what you are giving to them, I see what they are giving to each other and I want my son honored and loved, and I want to give back and save somebody,” Solomon remembered Follmer saying to her.
Follmer, who came to Texas from out of state for Family Weekend, told The Dallas Morning News she felt that stigma after her son — Aaron Follmer, who was a 24-year-old police officer in South Dakota — died. She said she felt like he had been forgotten and would not be recognized for his service.
Another woman, Blanca Ogawa, approached Follmer and shared her experience of losing her husband and the impact it has had on her four children. She said it was her first year attending Family Week, and she was initially hesitant.
She said after her husband died from suicide, she felt “completely outcast,” angry and like she was shouldering the blame when she asked for help. Now, she’s seeing support from families who can empathize with her experience and others who hadn’t suffered a loss but recognized the need for support.
“That’s what we need,” Ogawa said. “We need those that are not involved to say, ‘Hey, we see you. Let me support you’ and I appreciate that so much.”
Ogawa’s husband — Rolland Ogawa, a sheriff’s deputy in California with 25 years of service — died 10 years ago.
Ogawa said he had suffered injuries from years on the job working long hours and was involved in a shootout in which he killed someone. He had mental health problems and had been arrested for domestic violence, but had sought counseling.
“It’s just an accumulation of everything, not one thing. But a lot of it he associated with things that he saw and observed during his work because he’d come home, who would he talk to?” Ogawa said.
Young Calderon was part of the team that designed the monument.
She lost her husband, Deputy Homero Calderon, an 18-year veteran with the Dallas County Sheriff’s Department, to suicide in 2018.
“I remember being on the monument committee and thinking how lonely it felt not being included,” Young Calderon said. “My husband’s name would never be mentioned. I would never be included in anything. He would never be honored, simply, just because of the way that he died. Had absolutely nothing to do with his service.”
Young Calderon said the memorial should serve as a “refuge” for people.
“It is for us, but it isn’t only for those left behind,” Young Calderon said. “This monument is for those that are fighting to stay. I want you to know that we see you and you matter too. Hold on. You are not alone.”
Lifelines of support
- Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: If you or someone you know needs support now, call or text 988. Press 1 for military or veteran help. Chat at 988lifeline.org.
- Crisis Text Line: 24-hour support by texting HOME to 741741. More information at crisistextline.org.
- North Texas Behavioral Health Authority: 24-hour crisis hotline at 1-866-260-8000 or go to ntbha.org
- Suicide and Crisis Center of North Texas: Speak to a trained counselor on the 24-hour hotline at 214-828-1000 or go to sccenter.org
- Here For Texas Mental Health Navigation Line: Grant Halliburton Foundation initiative that connects North Texans with mental-health resources customized to each caller at 972-525-8181 or go to HereForTexas.com
