Tammy Kemp is supposed to be on vacation, so she hasn’t yet read the dozens of mailed letters or stacks of printed emails that sat on her office desk Tuesday.
Some were sent from nearby — Rowlett, Haslet and Carrollton addresses topped the stack — and others were from across the country. Her staff had already sorted through them, leaving the pile of positive messages for Kemp, the judge who presided over Amber Guyger’s murder trial.
Before the trial began Sept. 23, Kemp didn’t expect the international focus on her courtroom, she said. She expected the proceedings would be covered by local media, but the crush of attention from around the world caught her by surprise.
The world watched as Guyger, a 31-year-old white former police officer, was convicted and sentenced to 10 years in prison for the murder of 26-year-old Botham Jean, a black accountant who was in his own apartment when Guyger entered and shot him.
Almost everyone observing the trial watched from afar. So unless Guyger was on the stand, the camera showed only the back of her head or sometimes a side glance. But from the bench, Kemp saw Guyger change dramatically after the guilty verdict, she said.
In the beginning of the trial, Guyger was stoic, Kemp said.
“She seemed to have found a point in space to fixate on, and she just seemed to stare straight ahead at that,” the judge said. “She sat very still.”
But after the verdict, she said, Guyger was “a different person.”
“She was a broken person. I don't know what she was expecting from the verdict, but it changed her. And then with each successive punishment witness, she seemed to be ...” Kemp paused for a moment. “For want of a better word, shrinking, shrinking down.”
After the jury delivered its 10-year sentence, two hugs in the courtroom were broadcast around the world: the first when Brandt Jean asked if he could hug Guyger during victim impact statements, and the second between Guyger and the judge.
When Brandt Jean took the stand, he told the fired officer that he forgave her and wanted the best for her.
"Can I give her a hug, please?" he asked the judge. "Please."
Kemp said she hesitated a moment. She was thinking of Sheriff’s Department policies about contact with a defendant, she said.
“I was looking at the bailiff wanting him to tell me it was OK, and he was looking at me,” Kemp said. “But when I heard the second ‘please,’ I just couldn't refuse.”
Read more: Two stunning hugs end Amber Guyger's murder trial on a merciful note
Kemp became the subject of social media scrutiny — and an ethics complaint accusing her of proselytizing from the bench — after she gave Guyger a hug and a Bible.
The judge said she approached Guyger after offering condolences to the Jean family. She told the convicted ex-officer to forgive herself.
“I just said, ‘Ms. Guyger, Mr. Jean has forgiven you. Now I need you to forgive yourself, so you can live a purposeful life,’ ” Kemp recalled.
It’s not uncommon for Kemp to approach defendants after a trial and encourage them to find forgiveness for themselves. Without forgiving themselves, defendants will have a hard time being successful, she said.
But never in Kemp's time as a judge had a defendant on her way to prison asked her for a hug, she said.
When Guyger asked the first time, Kemp hesitated, she said. She thought about a sermon she had recently heard preaching love and compassion. She also thought back to a ceremony held in her courtroom shortly after she was elected, where speakers reminded her of her responsibilities to “do justice, love mercy and walk humbly,” she said.
“And I thought, well, how can I not hug this woman?” Kemp said. “So when she asked the second time, I said yes.”
When she learned that Guyger didn't have a Bible, Kemp gave her one of her own and pointed her to John 3:16.
Since the trial, Kemp has received three Bibles from well-wishers, though she’s not sure if they were meant to replace the one she gave Guyger or if she was being encouraged to give other defendants Bibles.
She was also sent a medallion filled with mustard seeds — a nod to her message to Guyger about having “faith the size of a mustard seed.”
Read more: Judge Tammy Kemp defends giving fired Dallas officer Amber Guyger a hug and a Bible after trial
In a case that had “many twists and turns,” Kemp said, what was most surprising was the number of people angry that she had hugged Guyger.
“I have a hard time understanding that,” she said.
Read more: Was it right for the judge in the Amber Guyger case to talk religion and give her a Bible?
Days after the trial, there was another shocking moment: the killing of Joshua Brown, a 28-year-old man who had lived across the hall from Jean and heard the gunfire when Guyger fatally shot him. Kemp said she was surprised and deeply saddened to hear that a man who had so recently taken the stand in her courtroom had been gunned down.
"I just can't imagine what his parents might be going through, and I hate that for them," Kemp said. "I really hate that for them."
Before Dallas police held a news conference Tuesday afternoon announcing the names of three suspects in Brown's slaying, Kemp said she hoped whoever was responsible was brought to justice quickly.
Read more: Dallas police name three suspects in Joshua Brown murder investigation
Kemp said Guyger’s trial was the first to be live-streamed from her courtroom. The judge tried to abide by the same rules she imposed on the sequestered jurors during the trial — they were forbidden from reading, listening to or watching any news about the case.
So she blocked out media coverage too, leaving her unaware of how widely her courtroom was being watched.
A friend from law school visited Kemp for lunch during the trial, and as they caught up, Kemp was shocked by how much her friend knew about what was going on.
But she did know that on day one of the trial, she became a meme. Videos and GIFs of a visibly frustrated Kemp circulated on social media, depicting her reaction to the defense telling her about an interview District Attorney John Creuzot did about the Guyger case that aired on the eve of the trial.
“I'm coming to realize my facial expressions are much more expressive than I ever imagined,” she said.
