Come evening, neighbors might see Richard Giltner gracefully moving his arms in his Fort Worth front yard.
He's practicing a form of meditation called qi gong (pronounced chee guhng) to help him relax. Giltner has been caring for his wife, Beverly Wood, 72, who has endometrial cancer.
”It sounds hocus-pocus,” Giltner, 72, says. “But if it was not for qi gong, I would have been a pile of stress with all that’s gone on in the last year.”
Caring for loved ones can be rewarding, but it also can take a toll on your physical and mental health. Mindfulness and meditation practices like qi gong can help caregivers avoid burnout and boost their resilience. Think of it as rebooting your brain.
“There’s a lot of anger, resentment, sadness and grief,” says Dallas mindfulness coach Farahana Kassam. “We tend to suppress what’s happening in our inner world. Mindfulness and meditation can create a safe space to get in touch with your emotions.”
Kassam helped care for her father-in-law until he died in 2015. “If I knew then what I know now about mindfulness, my experience would have been very different,” she says.
Mindfulness emerged from ancient spiritual practices as a way to observe the present through self-awareness. Meditation is a way to be mindful through inner reflection.
Studies show mindfulness and meditation can reduce stress, anxiety, depression, insomnia and blood pressure as well as enhance overall well-being.
The number of Americans who meditate more than tripled from 2012 to 2017, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Bea Brown of Dallas is the primary caregiver of her sister Beth, 53, who suffered a stroke in 2017. She does breathing exercises and stretches at home and at her full-time job.
“It taught me how to relieve stress,” says Brown, 58. “It’s so healthy for me and allows me to refresh, refocus and take care of other people better.”
She’s among the more than 43 million unpaid caregivers nationwide, including over 3.4 million people in Texas. The typical family caregiver is 52 and provides care an average of 24 hours a week. More than half also work full time, according to the AARP and the National Alliance for Caregiving.
Such schedules make family caregivers prone to “compassion fatigue,” the physical and emotional exhaustion that over time can increase their susceptibility to illness, such as high blood pressure, anxiety and depression, says Sharyn Fein, executive director of Dallas-based Educare Inc., which provides caregiver support and training.
“Caregivers often become so engrossed in their roles that they can’t see their own health declining,” she says. “To take care of others, we first need to take care of ourselves.”
How to start meditating
You don’t need to buy special gear or to carve out a lot of time to meditate.
“Meditation isn’t necessarily sitting quietly but whatever shuts your brain down,” says Martha Fiddes, executive director of rehabilitation and wellness for Christian Care Communities and Services in Mesquite. “People don’t need to do it every day, [just] whenever they can.”
Meditation can take many forms. Here are five short, simple ways to start meditating:
1. Deep breathing
Take five deep breaths to calm yourself in the morning or throughout the day. Another technique is to follow a 10-breath cycle (an inhale followed by an exhale).
“Breathing is the cheapest, easiest, most gratifying tool,” says Sharyn Fein, who trains caregivers and took care of her mother until she died in May. “I call it a back pocket tool because you can do it anytime anywhere.”
2. Visualization
Use your senses to visualize a place that makes you happy, such as the beach or mountains, to relax. Another technique is to visualize a boat on a river: Load all your worries onto that boat and watch it float away.
3. Centering word
Think of a word that makes you feel good. Repeat it until your mind is free of thoughts. You also can focus on an object, such as a candle flame or a tree. If your mind wanders or you’re distracted by outside noise, such as a garbage truck, refocus on the word or object.
4. Simple movement
Activities like tai chi or walking help clear the mind. “Your brain concentrates on the movements of your hands and body, not on worries or what’s for dinner,” Fiddes says.
5. Affirmations
List all the good aspects of your life. Focus on those for a few minutes to mute your mind’s negative voices and reinforce positive feelings.
Some caregivers may want meditations guided by a person, video or mobile app, such as the free Stop, Breathe & Think.
