Even if you don’t have children in school, you know the first day is coming. Bus drivers are practicing their pickup and dropoff routes. School supplies have taken over aisles and end caps at grocery stores. More than a few parents have that dazed look that comes from running out of ideas to keep their kids entertained.
That means it’s time for all of us — regardless of our current status as parents or educators or bystanders — to renew our commitment to the kids around us.
I like to think of an adult’s role as a lighthouse — a steady presence in the storm, a beacon of light in the darkness, a stable force no matter the size of the tide or the strength of the wind. Our kids need all the lighthouses we can muster.
Last year the U.S. surgeon general issued a report on social media and youth mental health, stating, “there are ample indicators that social media can also have a profound risk of harm to the mental health and well-being of children and adolescents.” Our young people are more anxious today than ever before, detailed in social psychologist Jonathan Haidt’s book The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness — a phenomenon created, he writes, with the shift from a play-based childhood to a phone-based childhood.
Now more than ever, kids need to rely on adults for guidance. The beginning of a new school year can be especially tough for them as they synthesize new material, adjust to new teachers with varying expectations and adapt to dynamic social landscapes. When kids and teens leave school each day, they need the comfort of adults who listen, hold tight to boundaries and remain calm in the face of the day’s storms.
They need lighthouses.
In July, I attended an Eagle Court of Honor for Suhasani, a young woman I first met in the hallways of the middle school where I taught for seven years. Last year I pitched in on her Eagle Scout project, and I was proud to be among the crowd that celebrated her achievement, earning the highest rank in Boy Scouts of America (soon to be known as Scouting America). While the ceremony honors one Scout, it also recognizes the role of mentors, volunteers and other Scouts who have been part of the process.
There was standing room only to cheer for Suhasani and her trail to Eagle — her parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles plus volunteers who teach merit badge classes and conduct rank conferences, organize campouts and offer advice on conflict resolution. They support their own children, yes, and then they make room for more.
Suhasini worked hard for her rank, accomplished before she starts 10th grade — a journey completed with the guidance of a host of lighthouses.
A week later, I spent an evening at the home of 18-year-old twins Aswin and Aparna, children I taught in fourth grade and who leave this month for Ohio State University and Texas A&M University. They were surrounded by their devoted parents and close friends plus other adults who love them, who provide emotional shelter, who have been steadfast mentors.
Before dinner began, we gathered in the family’s front room, where their mom gave thanks to the village that poured into her children. Then we prayed over Aswin and Aparna, offering blessings on their next steps. When they are far from home and struggle with classes or relationships or homesickness, I hope they remember not just the party but all the light and love lavished on them over the years.
Not everyone has the time to volunteer with a group or mentor a student, but most of us have moments to chat with a neighbor walking to school in the morning or playing outside in the evenings. We can fit in a conversation with a young person who attends the same place of worship or with a family member who needs an extra boost.
We can meet our kids where they are — offering messages of encouragement, texting quick notes to check in, sharing silly videos that might lift their spirits. They need all the light we can gather for the first day of school and all the days to come.
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