There are some concerning cut-and-dry statistics involving the Dallas Cowboys that have undoubtedly contributed to the team’s slow start in 2024.
Their 77.2 rushing yards per game, for instance, is last in the NFL. That certainly weighs in.
This next stat, though? There’s maybe some debate about whether it correlates to winning football. Maybe.
According to a new story by The Athletic’s Jayson Jenks, NFL players are apparently eating the famous childhood delicacy “Uncrustables” sandwiches in droves. A lot of them. Like, a shocking number of Uncrustables. More crustless peanut butter and jelly sandwiches than you could possibly fathom.
Per Jenks’ diligent research, he estimates that NFL teams go through “anywhere from 3,600 to 4,300 Uncrustables a week.” Yes, a week.
The Denver Broncos, according to the report, eat 700 of them per week on their own. The Seahawks, Jaguars and Dolphins all eat 300-plus.
The Cowboys, however, rank near the bottom of the NFL barrel in the newly-coined stat, Uncrustables per week: Of the 24 teams that submitted Uncrustables data, the Cowboys finished 20th with 75 eaten per week.
Does it mean anything in the grand scheme? Should Dallas start pounding Uncrustables to catch up to the league pace? Well ... probably not.
Combined record of the top five Uncrustables teams in the league? 16-18. Underwhelming.
But it is, at least, fun to know that “each week, the NFL consumes nearly the weight of three Travis Kelces” in crustless PB&J sandwiches.
To read the full story from The Athletic, click here.
Find more Cowboys coverage from The Dallas Morning News here.
