Retirement — the golden years — sounds fabulous, right? Will you take a long-awaited dream cruise? Buy a boat and sail around the world? Hang out with the grandchildren? Take those pottery classes you’ve been talking about? Or maybe learn that new sport you keep hearing about — pickleball?
Everyone’s idea of retirement differs. When you’re in your 50s, the thought of traveling to remote parts of the world might sound great. In your 60s, you may be bitten with the political bug and start campaigning for your favorite candidate. In your 70s, hanging out with the grandkids and taking classes at the community college may sound great.
The key is to have a plan as you transition from the workplace to that well-deserved second chapter. As Grapevine psychologist John Verdi notes, “People often plan for their financial retirement, but not the lifestyle they want to have in retirement. It is important to know what you are retiring to, not just what you are leaving behind.”
Here’s how three couples in North Texas are spending their golden years. The takeaway? Make your retirement your own.
Family matters
Ann Cude, 64, is a former nurse who specialized in hospice care during the last 12 1/2 years of her career. It was a job she loved, even as she tended to patients during the early and scary days of the pandemic. While she valued the interactions with patients and families, as well as the friendships she had with her fellow nurses, she decided to retire about a year ago, due to the rigorous demands of nursing during the pandemic.
It was earlier than she’d originally anticipated, and her husband, Jonathan, still works — though he plans on cutting back his hours over the next few years. Eventually they want to travel to national forests and parks; until then, Ann is focused on family and lending a hand with her two grandchildren.
“Initially … I was helping out two days a week for about five hours each time,” Ann says. Now she watches her grandchildren one day a week and occasionally more as needed.
She says as the grandkids have grown, the needs have changed. “My husband and I enjoy being able to keep them, to allow for their parents’ date night. It gives us special time to spend with them, as well as [allows us to] support their parents in investing and nurturing their marriage.”
In addition to caring for her grandchildren, Ann looks after her elderly mother, who is in long-term care. She takes her out for breakfast or lunch and the occasional brief shopping trip. “I play dominoes with her and her roommate, or work with them on a jigsaw puzzle,” she says, adding that she joins her mom for planned activities at her facility.
Ann’s post-retirement list includes trying new things. “I am learning pickleball and taking piano lessons, [which is] a challenge for me, with no music background. … But I feel like it is good for my mind, and I have an interest in it.” She also walks regularly and makes occasional trips to the gym.
Of all the things Ann is doing post-retirement, though, spending time with her grandkids ranks No. 1. “Every part of being with our grandchildren has been my favorite. It is a joy being with them so young and watching them grow.”
Giving back to the community
Geoff and Betty Thomson of Plano left their jobs in 2010 and 2014, respectively, and now at the age of 70, volunteer as long-term ombudsmen for area nursing homes. Betty was 61 when she retired from Verizon, where she worked in training and development. Geoff was 56 when he accepted a severance package from his job in commercial communications. He then got a certificate in executive coaching, which he did for another five years.
The couple say they really didn’t have any set plans for retirement, especially since Betty was still working when Geoff retired. “We kind of hemmed and hawed about our retirement plans,” Geoff says. “I never wanted to be the guy who played golf all day. I like to work with my hands and decided to take some classes at Collin College.” He learned sculpting, metal working and welding using the school’s senior discount. Betty first learned about the ombudsman volunteer opportunity from a friend at church who was doing it. Now she and Geoff both participate in the program.
“We are advocates for residents of assisted living facilities and nursing homes,” Betty says. The couple works to ensure that residents receive the dignity and respect they deserve as they age. “We go and listen to their concerns and help resolve [them],” she says. “The residents are so happy to have a visitor. Many of them have families who are out of state and can’t visit regularly. It’s so rewarding.”
The ombudsman program is mandated by the Older Americans Act of 1965 — the first federal level initiative focused on providing comprehensive services for older adults. Locally, The Senior Source in Dallas is the liaison organization that assigns Betty and Geoff to their individual residential living facilities.
They each visit their facility once a week, unannounced, and they have the authority to work on a variety of issues. The program also empowers residents and ensures that they receive the quality of care and life they deserve and are entitled to by law.
“We encourage residents to speak out for themselves,” Geoff says. “We are helping people be people. … It enables them. We try to educate the residents that they have rights.”
The training to become an ombudsman is substantial. It consists of a 3-½-month curriculum that includes a legal component for both federal and state issues, with a variety of questions that participants have to research and answer. By the time the training is complete, Geoff says, “You are well-equipped to do the work. You are not just thrown into it.”
“The job really gives me a purpose in life and allows me to give back to the community by helping these residents,” Betty says. “They are happy to see us come through the door. It fills my heart. There is so much appreciation for what we do.”
Geoff agrees. “Being an ombudsman gives one a better understanding of the value of life. The residents are appreciative that a program exists to advocate for them.”
Born to travel
Last year, Jill and Robert Martinez, ages 71 and 72, bought a motor home. Just after Christmas, they packed up their belongings and hit the road for Royal Oak, Michigan, where their grandchildren and other family members reside.
For the past 30 years, the couple had lived in the Dallas-Fort Worth area, where they moved in 1993 for Robert’s job at a law firm. They lived in Lake Highlands while Robert worked in Dallas; a few years later, after Robert accepted an offer from a law firm in Fort Worth, they moved to Valley Ranch in Irving.
It was here that Jill started the “Irving Journal,” a community newspaper that she edited and published for 10 years. Their Valley Ranch home was great for entertaining the grandchildren when they visited, but as time passed, Jill and Robert found themselves wondering if they needed so much space. Eventually, the couple made the decision to downsize — freeing themselves of the burden of home and pool maintenance — to an apartment in Las Colinas.
Last year, though, they opted not to renew their lease. “We didn’t want to keep renting, as the monthly rent had increased. The month-to-month rate would be more than $4,000 a month,” says Jill.
Initially, the couple planned to rent an RV to travel after retirement. They sold both their cars and bought a large SUV to pull it. But after more research, they decided to buy a full-fledged motor home instead.
The motor home gives them more room than an RV, especially, Robert says, “when you put your sides out,” which provides 30% more floor space. They also have a sleeping “loft” over the cab. And they purchased Starlink, a satellite internet service developed by Elon Musk’s company SpaceX, which gives them Wi-Fi in remote locations. “It can be used anywhere,” Jill says. “Ships use it.”
The transition to Michigan has not been without a few hiccups. Following a going-away party on Dec. 20, the Martinezes discovered there was a screw in one of their car tires. Robert spent an entire afternoon at a crowded repair shop waiting to get it fixed. Then, just before Christmas, while still in Dallas, a batch of cold weather hit, causing their car battery to die. No sooner had they gotten the battery replaced than Robert came down with COVID-19. They also had to scrap plans to tow their car because they had “too much stuff.” Instead, they rented a U-Haul, which Robert towed with the motor home while Jill drove behind in the car.
By the time they reached Michigan, Robert had recovered from COVID-19, but Jill now had it. As they isolated, they “moochdocked” (an RV term for plugging into — aka mooching off — a friend’s power and water) in Jill’s sister’s driveway.
Not one to let illness get her down, Jill went about setting up the inside of the motor home, but in doing so accidentally stepped back off a stool and broke her wrist, which required surgery. After the mid-January procedure, the couple slept a few nights at their daughter’s house, then they moved the motor home to their nephew’s property, which was closer to the surgeon’s Ann Arbor offices. After her follow-up with the wrist surgeon in early February, Jill now sports a splint and has a sheaf of rehab exercises.
Going forward, Lapeer, outside of Flint, will be their home base. Jill and her siblings — along with their significant others — have a family cottage north of Lake St. Clair. While the home started as a one bedroom, over the years they have renovated and enlarged it to six bedrooms.
“In the summers, we’ll be at the cottage near the Great Lakes and spend time touring Michigan,” says Jill. Other times of the year, the Martinezes plan to go out on the road for several months at a time, traveling to places like Canada, where Jill has dual citizenship thanks to her Canadian father, or south to Key West and Jupiter, Florida, where they have friends.
While Robert is still actively working as an attorney on a couple cases — “and probably will be for the rest of our lives,” says Jill, laughing — for the most part, they are retired and “can do anything we want.”
So what are their kids’ and friends’ reactions to Jill and Robert’s second chapter? “A year ago, I don’t think anyone thought it would happen. But as we got closer, everyone has [been] excited and supportive.”
Despite the craziness of the past few months, Jill says she has managed to keep her sense of humor. She sings lyrics from the 1965 hit from The Mamas & The Papas: “You gotta go where you wanna go/ Do what you wanna do … "
An apt description of the Martinezes’ new life.
